When Obsession Works
Scott Barry Kaufman and His Passion for Mentalism
“I see every interaction as an opportunity to cause wonder in someone.” — Scott Barry Kaufman
There are times in life that call for balance. And there are times that demand complete immersion, a monomaniacal deep dive into something that, with our cooperation but in a way that feels almost beyond our tight control, has set us ablaze with passion.
Few people understand this better than Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman. As one of the world’s foremost authorities on human potential, he understands when balance is necessary. In fact, one of his great passions is Abraham Maslow — and, after getting special access to his papers, he proposed a new theory of self-actualization, replacing the famous Hierarchy of Needs pyramid with a sailboat consisting of six parts, some below the surface and some above. Like a strong sailboat, a strong life has balance… a little bit of all the essential ingredients, not secured one at a time as the Hierarchy of Needs misled some into believing (much to Maslow’s chagrin), but all at once.
But Kaufman also knows when it’s time for a little bit of obsession to take the reins.
Since we first became friends in the early days of the pandemic, bonding over our shared optimism for human potential, I have witnessed Kaufman’s passion manifest in many forms. Whether he’s poring over Abraham Maslow’s journals (becoming one of the few people on earth to have read them all, obsessing over motorcycles, developing a new form of coaching centered on human-potential, performing stand-up comedy, or weightlifting, he’s always on fire.
And that passion has led to unthinkable professional achievement. He is the host of The Psychology Podcast, one of the most popular psychology podcasts in the world; author of ten groundbreaking books, the founder of the Center for Human Potential; professor of psychology at Columbia University, and one of the top one percent most cited scientists in the world.
“I love the idea of making people feel like they have greater potential than they realized,” he says. “Or letting them see the greater potential they didn’t know they had. That’s been a theme of something I’ve been obsessed with my whole life."
But recently, his passion has taken a surprising turn: mentalism, a craft that fuses magic with the mysteries of the mind. He’s diving in headfirst.
Mentalism is less of a standalone passion and more of a fusion of at least three passions that he’s been cultivating his whole life.
“Mentalism combines psychology with magic,” he explains. “And I’ve always loved performing. I have definitely put that performing element into my keynotes about psychology. So [mentalism] is something that allows me to combine them.”
Kaufman’s love for performing dates back to his childhood. He attended performing arts camp, participated in musicals throughout high school, played the cello in his school’s orchestra (taught by his grandfather, a cellist in the Philadelphia Orchestra), and was originally accepted into Carnegie Mellon not for psychology, but for opera. At 13, he even became fascinated by magic, performing at several bar mitzvahs around his hometown of Philadelphia. But that was a short-lived passion, eventually overshadowed by other interests — until one fateful day in December of last year, when it all came rushing back to him during a show he attended in Vegas.
Gerry McCambridge — creator of The Mentalist and headliner of the longest running mentalist show in Vegas — sparked something in Kaufman that night. “It was a lot of psychology,” he recalls. “That was clear.” At one point, McCambridge even brought Kaufman on stage and got him thinking about his dreams, leaving Kaufman deeply touched.
“I realized in that moment the power of magic to really emotionally inspire a person,” Kaufman says. “It’s like an instrument that I hadn’t realized… or maybe I had forgotten since I was 13.”
And so, the obsession began. As soon as Kaufman got back from Vegas, he started with a simple Google search: What are some easy magic tricks?
“What came up with were the best magic apps for your iPhone,” he says. “So I started with some iPhone apps. And I ordered some cards. I will reveal one secret and say they were marked cards… that’s all I’ll say about that.”
As soon as the cards arrived, Kaufman’s mind started racing. “I started trying to think of maybe 100 routines I could do with them,” he recalls. “I just couldn’t turn it off.”
A few days later, Kaufman’s friend Elliot Paul came to visit, and Kaufman began practicing his routines on him. “I just did one after another… and he was amazed,” Kaufman recounts. “That’s when I realized I had opened up something. A seed had been planted… and there was no turning back.”
Not long after, I had the chance to witness Kaufman’s new passion firsthand. I met him and Paul, still in town, at one of our favorite taco places on the Santa Monica waterfront. Kaufman performed trick after trick — from card routines to a stunt where he had me search something random on Wikipedia and then guessed what I had looked up. In another trick, he even called a stranger to have him guess my card. The guess was correct.
“That was next level,” Kaufman says, recalling the experience. “I’ll never forget your reactions.”
The truth is I was really amazed. I had no idea how he performed those tricks (I’m one of those people who loves to see the wonder in magic — I don’t need to know the ‘how’). But what amazed me even more was the depth of his new passion. It was clear that this wasn’t just a passing phase. Mentalism seemed to combine so many of his strengths — his love for understanding the human mind, his desire to inspire wonder in others, and his flair for performance. It was as if everything clicked, and all of his interests and past experiences converged into this one pursuit. And on a personal level, I loved seeing someone who helps so many millions of people find their passions discovering a new one of his own.
Nine months later, Kaufman is full-on obsessed. His Santa Monica apartment is filled with magic items — from a special magic table to card decks of all sizes to books on ESP and other psychological phenomena. He recently put on a special magic show just for Sam Harris and Annika Harris, which I was fortunate enough to attend. He estimates he spent 80 hours preparing for it. On average, he says he’s engaged in something related to magic up to eight hours a day.
So does Kaufman’s passion for mentalism veer into obsessive passion territory?
“Yes,” he admits. “It does veer into that.”
In the psychology research of passion, researchers distinguish between two primary types: harmonious passion and obsessive passion. These concepts, introduced by the psychologist Robert Vallerand, describe how passion can either enrich our life or consume it.
We experience harmonious passion when an activity is aligned with our identity and we freely engage in it. It integrates smoothly into our lives, bringing joy and fulfillment without overpowering other aspects of our existence. People with harmonious passion feel in control of their pursuit; they can step away from it if needed, and it often leads to positive outcomes like greater well-being, creativity, and sustained motivation.
On the other hand, obsessive passion is marked by an uncontrollable urge to engage in an activity, often driven by external pressures or an internal compulsion. Obsessive passion can dominate a person’s life, and in the most extreme cases can lead to stress, anxiety, or difficulty balancing other responsibilities. While it can drive remarkable achievements, it also comes with the risk of burnout and conflict.
But what if there’s a third option? After spending the last year interviewing highly passionate people, I’ve noticed a pattern: the most passionate people are always a little obsessive. They can’t turn their minds off the thing they love. Perhaps it’s possible to have what might be called “harmonious obsession” — a kind of integrated intensity where you’re all in, but you’ve integrated it into your lifestyle in a (mostly) healthy way. This way, you get the best of both, without the lack of depth from one and the burnout-inducing nature of the other.
This challenges the traditional view of passion. From my understanding of the research, it has always seemed black and white: harmonious passion is the “good” form, while obsession is the “bad” kind. So I would have assumed that a psychologist who is one of the foremost authorities on the effects of passion in our lives would steer clear of obsessive passion. But Kaufman acknowledges that his passion for mentalism has elements of both.
“I think I'm harmoniously and obsessively passionate,” he says. “They're not necessarily at odds with each other. It’s possible to have both.”
Curious about how he manages this balance, I press him further. By any account, you could say that I’m obsessed with passion. I also veer into obsessive passion in other areas of my life: writing, jiu-jitsu, handstands, even learning. Once I start going down a wormhole of an area I’m interested in, I have trouble stopping. I’ve never quite known how to manage this. So I ask for his honest thoughts on obsession — when, if ever, is it healthy?
“When [researchers] look at obsessive versus harmonious passion, they’re looking it in terms of individual differences,” he explains. “How people differ from one another. But within a single person, you find they both coexist at different levels. So, for me, I have healthfully integrated it into the core of my identity — which is harmonious passion. But it also keeps me up at night. I can’t help but come up with new ideas.”
And is that something to worry about? So often, obsessive passion is portrayed as a negative — an unsustainable way to live… an inevitable road to burnout.
“Only with money,” he replies, laughing. “I’ve spent tons of money… it’s ridiculous. It’s like an addiction.”
But aside from the money spent — magic does tend to bring out the “gearhead” in him (a term usually reserved for outdoor sports enthusiasts, but which I think also applies to anyone obsessed with the tools and gadgets of their hobby) — Kaufman insists his new passion has brought significant “psychological enhancements” to his life.
“I see the world differently,” he says. “I see every interaction as an opportunity to cause wonder in someone. I’m always thinking of shows I can do now for friends. It’s a really nice social bonding thing.”
As his friend, I’ve noticed these changes firsthand. He seems happier, more energized, and more engaged with life. It’s further proof that our passions, do in fact, change us for the better — and that being truly on fire in one area can spill over to everything else.
Despite his new obsession, Kaufman is clear that he is not about to make a career change. He remains as passionate about psychology as ever. “I have nothing to prove,” he says. “That’s what’s wonderful about this. I have no ambition or pretentions to be David Copperfield, to be famous, to even be respected amongst my fellow magicians — I don’t care. All that pressure is off of me.
“I’m a hobbyist,” he adds. “That’s the phrase they use in the magic community. I'm in the secret magic groups [online], and I feel like the hobbyists are the most engaged people in these threads. They’re having the most fun.”
For Kaufman, keeping mentalism as a hobby allows him to fully embrace his obsession without the pressures that often accompany professional pursuits. In this way, hobbies become more than just pastimes; they’re avenues for deep personal fulfillment, exploration, and growth.
In other words, while it gets a bad name, sometimes obsession works.
Takeaways
Here is one big thing I learned this week about passion, one exercise you can do to stoke your own inner fire, and one aspect of Kaufman’s intense enthusiasm that rubbed off on me — and that I now want to learn more about, too!
One Lesson: Obsession Isn’t Always a Bad Thing
Obsession often carries a negative connotation, suggesting an unhealthy fixation. But Kaufman’s journey into mentalism reveals that when obsession is harmoniously integrated into your life, it can lead to profound creativity and fulfillment. "Harmonious obsession" challenges the idea that passion must always be balanced or moderate. Instead, it suggests that fully immersing yourself in what you love—while maintaining a healthy relationship with it—can be the key to feeling truly alive.
One Exercise: Assess Your Current Passions
Reflect on your current passions. Are there areas where you’ve been holding back, perhaps out of fear of becoming too obsessed? Consider whether you might benefit from embracing a bit more intensity—fully leaning into harmonious obsession. Where can you dive in deeper, allowing your passion to fully ignite while still keeping it integrated into the other aspects of your life? This exercise is about finding the balance that works for you, allowing your passion to drive you forward without overwhelming you.
One Curiosity: How Many Styles of Magic Are There?
Kaufman’s exploration of mentalism has piqued my interest in the broader world of magic. It made me wonder: how many different styles of magic are there? The world of magic is incredibly diverse. Here are a few of the main styles aside from mentalism: close-up magic (performed right in front of the audience, often with everyday objects like cards or coins), illusion (large-scale performances often involving elaborate props), stage magic (theatrical large performances), street magic (guerrilla-style street performances), and escapology (the art of escape). So many micro-passions to explore!
Links
Who Enjoys Magic? in Psychology Today