This is Dispatch #7 in a series from the Human Aliveness Lab — raw, personal reflections exploring what it really means to feel alive. You can read the whole series here.
Hi friends,
You know that feeling when you’re fully locked in — when time disappears, your mind sharpens, and it feels like the world narrows down to just you and the task in front of you?
That’s flow.
It’s one of the most incredible human states — that deep sense of immersion we get when we’re climbing, writing, training, painting, problem-solving. The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who coined the term, described it as a state of optimal experience — when we’re stretched to our limits in pursuit of something meaningful.
I love being in flow. Who doesn’t?
But lately, I’ve been thinking about the difference between flow and something even bigger: aliveness.
Because while the two are deeply connected — they’re not the same.
Here’s how we’re starting to define it at the Human Aliveness Lab:
Aliveness is the felt sense of being vividly — sometimes even painfully — awake to life. It spans the full spectrum of human experience: intensity, emotion, connection, presence, and meaning.
Or, put another way:
Aliveness is the felt sense of being fully engaged with life — emotionally, physically, and spiritually — in a way that honors both intensity and meaning.
It includes moments of passion, connection, awe, heartbreak, risk, creativity, purpose, and, yes, flow. It’s about showing up fully to the human experience.
Flow is part of aliveness. But it’s not the whole thing.
Flow is structured. It’s skill-based. It’s marked by clear goals, immediate feedback, and neurochemical shifts like dopamine, norepinephrine, endorphins, and anandamide. And it doesn’t last forever — most people can only stay in flow for a few hours at a time before they hit the natural crash.
Aliveness is different. It’s less about perfect performance and more about full presence. It doesn’t require mastery — only that you show up, heart-first.
I feel alive when I’m in writing flow or mid-jiu-jitsu match. But I also feel alive when I’m jet-lagged and unsure, walking into a competition across the world, alone, where I don’t speak the language. When I lose. When I cry in my hotel afterward. When I’m struggling to understand something — a new idea, a messy relationship, a question I can’t quite answer — and keep going anyway.
Flow is a peak. Aliveness is the mountain.
If you’ve ever sat with heartbreak, felt awe in nature, risked something that mattered, let yourself fall in love, or cried after putting your full heart into something — you’ve felt it. That’s aliveness.
And if you're chasing more of it? Flow is one powerful door. But don’t stop there.
With heart,
Krista
I love your beautiful, elegant, and yes, passionate article on “Aliveness”, Ms. Stryker! I haven’t heard of this term before; Yet, I definitely have known about flow, ever since 2011, when I began learning from Todd aka Todd Kashdan, Ph.D. In regards to the phenomenal course at GMU, The Science of Well-Being/Character Strengths. I remember experiencing the state of flow one day in August of 2000, when my father and two step-brothers were enjoying, experiencing, and embracing the beach in Virginia Beach, VA. There was a special portion of the day, in which I got to go on my own, while my father and two step-brothers were hanging out together; I was serenaded by the beach, horizon, and the blue sky for a long period of my time. I was fortunate enough to value and appreciate the love of these moments; I distinctly remember going into the state of flow, and nothing else existed besides myself in the moment I cared about. I experienced a painting in motion with an orange-purplish sky. Eventually, I saw the full moon, as the wonderment of the beautiful, crashing waves were in the water, and the lovely starts were shining in the moonlit sky. The only difference is, I was alone at the time; I could not share this time with anyone else. I hope and aim to one day, experience and share this lovely pieces of beauty and significance, in the wonderful moments that take your breath away. Much appreciated, Ms. Stryker; Hope this post resonates with you! Please let me know, whenever you have the chance! ☺️😀😁
This is brilliant! We are soul sisters my friend. It's interesting, I've always felt a limitation in the quest for flow states. A missing something. Yes, it's an optimal experience but is it a full human experience like you are describing. Feeling alive and engaged whilst in the full catastrophe, that's where I want to live.